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My Husband’s Guy Card

Read this story, and tell me if you think my husband’s guy card should be deactivated . . .

This morning I was online paying bills, and I decided to poke around a bit with our DirecTV programming. I didn’t change anything, I was just testing some new “adds” and “removes” to see what our bill would be.

By accident, I ended at the “Upgrade Equipment” page. Right now, we have an older DirecTV HD DVR with TiVO. (How we ever lived without TiVO, I’ll never know.) So I thought maybe I’d look into what it would cost us to upgrade to the newer HD DVR and the bigger dish that accommodates local and regular satellite channels in HD.

The cost suprised me: $0

I totally freaked out. I was ready to call and make an appointment when I realized this was one of those “family decisions.” So, I went into the kitchen and said to my husband, “What if I told you that the cost for DirecTV to come out, install the big HD dish and put the new HD tuner with TiVO in our living room was ZERO dollars?”


“Yes, nothing. Not a penny.”

“Will they take out the old dish and haul it away?”

“I don’t know. I was just talking installation of the new stuff. They’ve got something called “Old Dish Relocator” that costs $49, but I don’t know what that means.”

“Well, then it’s not free. Plus, I don’t want them coming out and drilling holes in our new roof. And there’s still some cables up there that aren’t cleaned up from the last time they were here. You gotta watch those [expletive] subcontractors or they’ll do a crap job. I gotta get up there and fix all that.”

“Okay. I didn’t realize this came with a list of conditions.”

“They’re not conditions–you just weren’t thinking about all that stuff.”

“No, apparently I wasn’t. I saw ‘free installation’ and thought you might like to get more of the channels in HD than we currently do for free. I guess I was being crazy.”

“Well, once I get up there . . .”

“Nope. I’m over it. Never mind.”

Because I know that he’ll NEVER ‘get up there.’ I’ve been with this guy for 13 years. At 6’4″ and 300lbs., climbing up ladders and onto roofs is not something he does often–or well.

How many men do you know that would turn down free HD? Seriously!! We’ve got a 56″ big screen with HD capability. What man doesn’t want the most HD programming for nothing more than what he’s already paying?

So for now, I’m stuck with paying $9.99 per month for seven HD channels. Maybe I should just cancel digital altogether . . .


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